You know how I said dad made the point to wait to leave until mom had her aunt Judy by her side? Well, I think he made sure Magical James (MJ from here on out) was there for me. He knew having my friends with me would be all well and good, but nothing would be as comforting as a hug from a 5’10” guy with medium stature, complete with scratchy facial hair, yet smooth cheeks. Dad picked the guy who looked like Chris Cagle with big brother Gavin tendencies so he knew I’d be both attracted to and comforted by him. To make sure I recognized his presence, dad put MJ in busted-up cowboy boots, while the rest of the staff had crocs with paper booties. He also made sure he worked the days we needed him most and I would be at my least embarrassing. (Nurse Eva, my apologies for falling on the floor and swearing at you, but seriously, you didn’t think we’d need some Kleenex after Dr. Death told us “well, I could pull the plug right now…”??) MJ even was with me, hugging and crying, while I spent my last 2 minutes alone with dad.
Dad knew I needed the distraction that MJ provided, both in the room talking crawfish boil (the one semi-gourmet, semi-southern tradition dad actually liked) and at home while Google stalking. (Hey, mom was the one who told me his last name…) With mom’s support, I even used MJ as part of my standard anxiety attack reliever medicine-having something to look forward to. I asked him to give me a call the next week to see how I was doing. He said he would. I hung on to that promise and in moments of wallowing thought, well, I at least have this that will make me smile.
Well, dad, what sort of life lesson am I supposed to take from the fact he didn’t call??? Boys are still boys (and therefore stupid) even if they are superheroes? Life goes on? No one will ever be as good as my daddy? Patience, young grasshopper? I don’t get it.
For a half a second yesterday, I thought maybe it was because dad was gone and could no longer make these things happen. But he is making things happen! We have the nicest weather we’ve had for any Memorial Day weekend I can remember. My first best friend (that I’ve been looking for FOR TEN YEARS) appeared on my Facebook doorstep this morning. I’ve got the best guardian angel on my side, so why, why, why am I still waiting for boys to call, dad???