Monthly Archives: June 2009

What is Love? Baby, Don’t Hurt Me

This week’s drama? Love or lack there of. Currently, I have friends on either end of the relationship drama scale. For some reason I’ve been giving them advice, which makes me laugh once I’m done. (I’ll be the first to admit that maybe it wasn’t asked for…) Me? The girl who stumbled her way through only one serious relationship and has since found herself one more married guy crush or fat-ass-on-eHarmony-who-closes-the-match-on-me away from hiring one of those planes with the banner ad to say “Dudes-cute, normal chick looking for love. Meet at Alterra by the lake. Free coffee for the first 10 applicants.”

My dad and I spent countless hours talking about love, what it means in real life vs. movies, and how important it is. Right after “don’t ever have a credit card balance”, I think my dad’s favorite fatherly lesson was “don’t settle.” I won’t, but I’m afraid my friends might. We don’t want to be alone. I get that. Heck, I get that more than the average bear. I seriously wonder how long I could disappear before anyone would even notice. But just someone is not better than no one. It has got to be the right someone.

I have found myself spending every First Star I See Tonight wish on “please let me meet The Guy tomorrow”, yet I see the pain and drama that comes with this whole finding a mate business. Perhaps I’ll be nit-picky and find faults that aren’t really there. Perhaps everything will start out fine, but five years down the line I’ll realize I don’t love them anymore. Or we’ve even got the basic-see a cute guy from across the crowd…he finally gets the courage to come talk to me (with 5 of his buddies) and tell me a well rehearsed story about coming down for the night from Minneapolis, only to have my friend later tell me he lives in her building. (Seriously, green shirt dude. WTF?)

There’s so much drama in the process that I hope I (and my friends) find the perfect, Hollywood, fireworks-inducing love in the end. It’s funny that I want something so bad that has potential to cause me headaches for the rest of my life. Then again, it has the potential to be the most life-fulfilling, happiness causing thing as well.

Before I continue my hunt, do you have any “be patient, young grasshopper” words of wisdom?

Well Rounded

I titled this post as I did for two reasons. 1. The details of this post are making me more round. 2. As I write about all these girly recipes, I am watching the College World Series. Go Longhorns!

Everyone kept on asking how I was doing this weekend and the honest answer was “I’m fine”. Really, I was. But cooking is my therapy, so I did a lot of it as extra insurance. I ended up four for four for (ha, bet English majors never thought they’d see that) good recipes. You may want to try, so…enjoy!

1. Asparagus, Feta, and Lemon Pasta – I based my recipe on one from Smitten Kitchen. I have never had a recipe go wrong from her and her photography is awesome. (Oh…food porn…) My (lame-ass) grocery store didn’t have goat cheese, so I used a tub of crumbly feta with red pepper and garlic. I was taking this to a bbq, so I knew it had to keep at room temperature (hence the crumbly feta.)

2. Strawberry Limeaid Bars – These were based on a recipe in the Sunday paper (scroll down almost all the way on the link to “Strawberry Lemonade Bars”.) I only had a lime, so I used lime zest and some juice. I did use lemon juice (from a bottle…shh, don’t yell). Oh, and I used whole wheat flour instead of regular. I think it made the crust a little drier, but hardly worth noticing. Very tart, but very good.

3. Parmesan and Squash Cakes – Ok, for this one, I didn’t have shallots so I used a small onion and added some garlic. Also, I have an aversion to parsley, so I used marjoram from the garden. (Also used for the chicken burgers, so made the food pair up well.) Healthy and very easy.

4. Chicken Burgers – The bulimic Italian does it again. Use a good amount of Pam on your grill (careful, they stick!), but these burgers are great. I burnt the buns, so we had untoasted, still very good and felt healthy. Since I can’t do anything by recipe… I used marjoram instead of rosemary. (How did I not get a rosemary plant this year??)

Bonus recipe: Birthday Cake Cocktail from Reata Restaurant in Ft. Worth, Texas (I stumbled into Reata when I was looking for a good closing dinner place for one of my associations this February. Dinner was so good I bought the cookbook!)
One Drink:
-1 oz. Frangelico
-1 oz. Vanilla vodka
-1 oz. cranberry juice
-1 oz. pineapple juice

Put all ingredients in a drink shaker and gently shake twice. Rim a glass with granulated sugar and fill with ice. Pour in drink and top with a few flakes of sweetened coconut. Yum-O!

Bon appétit!

I Think I’m Alone Now

I risk making you think I’m manic depressive by following the last post with this one, but you know what…my blog, my rules. (Or maybe that’s just the Crazy talking.)

This weekend was good, but Monday called out another round of I Miss My Best Friend. Have you done this before? How do I get past this?

I’m a part of a big presentation for work tomorrow and I want to talk to my dad about it. My computer is freezing up and I want to talk to my dad about it. I’m going to start officially training for Al’s Run next week and I want to talk to my dad about it. My mom is acting like mom again and I want to talk to my dad about it. N is being dragged through the mud for the 8-billionth time and I want to talk to dad about it. The only halfway decent guy I’ve been paired up with on eHarmony closed the match before we even got talking and I want to talk to my dad about it. I’m debating another dog and I want to talk to my dad about it. I am so phenomenally, unbelievably sad and I want to talk to my dad about it.

My dad was my cheerleader, my grief counselor, my business advisor, my fix-it man, my fellow philosopher, and my partner in crime (or lack there-of) at family occasions. He gave me advice and direction when it came to love, plumbing, cars, and work. He introduced me to new music, thoughts, and people.

The hole in my heart and my life is so huge right now. I’ve got lots of friends. I’ve even got lots of other best friends. But they are all busy in their own lives and don’t need to be worrying about me. Dad was the one who did that best anyway.

I keep asking myself what do I really want to put on this blog? Do I want people to read this and react in real life? No, not really. I love you, really I do, but you’re not dad. I am one (more, God-forsaken, will he ever stop) Noah bark away from a full-fledged, stress-induced temper tantrum and just need to get as much out of my system before I explode.

Thanks for letting me share. I would love to hear your advice in the comment section if you’ve got any. Now excuse me while I go back to bed and pout.

Stuff Grown-Ups Like

– Starting the weekend with a good workout without the huge hordes of people
– Meeting up with old friends to talk about how wild and crazy we once were…and how happy and settled we are now.
– Taco dip
– Going for a run
– Having lunch with our friends with the kids (and realize how we’re still not ready for that…)
Home Depot
– High school graduations where we sit with our mouths agape-“Is he REALLY old enough to be graduating??”
Sitting on a patio with an imported beer and a new friend, talking finance and our friends with boats (well, at least the friends with boats part)
Midnight ice cream runs
– Naps
– A full breakfast using herbs we’ve grown
– Working in the yard/garden (It doesn’t look like much now, but just you watch! I hope…)

– The drink and the pause after working in the yard
– Gourmet Club dinner parties

I’m glad I’m a grown-up. It was a great weekend!!

Life Moves On, And So Do We

It has been a week since I’ve put up a post, but I feel like I’m in-between writing-worthy events. I’m not gonna lie…this weekend was a hard one. I actually think it was harder for me than the funeral service in Texas. People keep saying this service was really nice, but I was in such a fog that day that I don’t remember much of anything. I do remember dancing to Auld Lang Sine…in the church…per the suggestion of the minister and upon dad’s behalf. Dad used to fight for clapping in our church…he would of got a kick out of this.

As for the reception, I know there was a bunch of people who seemed to be having a good time, but I can only pick out a friend being drunk and stupid and the fact that Arkansas beat Florida State in the college baseball game on the tv while we were there. I had Chinese for dinner that night, bookended by two great friends, but even that seemed like an out-of-body experience.

BUT-that weekend is over. Mom stayed until this morning and we had a lovely couple of days just the two of us. We went shopping (hello $3/piece businesswear!) and even joined some friends for a Brewers game last night. When we got home from the game, mom commented “that was the perfect ending to the past 5 weeks.” I couldn’t agree more. I know I’m going to have ups and downs, but I have GOT to get on with life. Losing my dad, one of my best friends, is going to be something that affects me forever, but when I dropped mom off at the airport this morning, I decided it’s time to get moving on.

I went to work and finally was finally able to concentrate-so much so, I brought work home! I had a lovely dinner with an old friend tonight and have laundry going while I write this. I’ve got some fun plans for this weekend, this month, this summer, this year. Stay tuned for some interesting stuff. It is going to be a fun summer!

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