I Think I’m Alone Now

I risk making you think I’m manic depressive by following the last post with this one, but you know what…my blog, my rules. (Or maybe that’s just the Crazy talking.)

This weekend was good, but Monday called out another round of I Miss My Best Friend. Have you done this before? How do I get past this?

I’m a part of a big presentation for work tomorrow and I want to talk to my dad about it. My computer is freezing up and I want to talk to my dad about it. I’m going to start officially training for Al’s Run next week and I want to talk to my dad about it. My mom is acting like mom again and I want to talk to my dad about it. N is being dragged through the mud for the 8-billionth time and I want to talk to dad about it. The only halfway decent guy I’ve been paired up with on eHarmony closed the match before we even got talking and I want to talk to my dad about it. I’m debating another dog and I want to talk to my dad about it. I am so phenomenally, unbelievably sad and I want to talk to my dad about it.

My dad was my cheerleader, my grief counselor, my business advisor, my fix-it man, my fellow philosopher, and my partner in crime (or lack there-of) at family occasions. He gave me advice and direction when it came to love, plumbing, cars, and work. He introduced me to new music, thoughts, and people.

The hole in my heart and my life is so huge right now. I’ve got lots of friends. I’ve even got lots of other best friends. But they are all busy in their own lives and don’t need to be worrying about me. Dad was the one who did that best anyway.

I keep asking myself what do I really want to put on this blog? Do I want people to read this and react in real life? No, not really. I love you, really I do, but you’re not dad. I am one (more, God-forsaken, will he ever stop) Noah bark away from a full-fledged, stress-induced temper tantrum and just need to get as much out of my system before I explode.

Thanks for letting me share. I would love to hear your advice in the comment section if you’ve got any. Now excuse me while I go back to bed and pout.


2 thoughts on “I Think I’m Alone Now

  1. Sarah says:

    I'm so glad you're blogging about this. I still have both my parents but my husband's are both gone. You help me understand what it must be like for him.

  2. Nicki C. says:

    Your friends may be busy in their own lives, but they will always worry about their friends. You just need to let them in and let them know what you need. I know you keep to yourself, but sometimes you need to ask for that help, that company, that ear to vent to! We're all here for you – you just need to let us know when you want us to be THERE.

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